How Resentment Can Lead to a Relationship's Demise
Description
Have you been guilty of letting some things creep into your relationship that are causing it to break down? How did they happen? And more important, how can you get rid of them?
image medium_4612663237.jpg (0.2MB) How relationships crumble:
Several things can contribute to a crumbling relationship. A relationship is like a house of cards. It only takes one flick to destroy a masterpiece, yet when it falls it doesn’t cave in all at once. It falls card by card.
One flame is all it takes to spark a dozen more issues. All too often people let those various issues destroy different parts of their relationships. The problem is that over time, a couple can build up a dangerous resentment toward one another. This hate is like an infection — a couple can see its effects slowly seeping into their relationship, yet they tend to ignore it until it’s too late.
The key to overcoming resentment:
If you learn to overcome this resentment or passive aggression, if you will, you can keep your relationship from being destroyed. If this resentment, or hate, is the death of a relationship, then love is its salvation.
I recently read an article on YourTango.com about ways to prevent resentment in relationships. The article mentioned resentment is a result of unhappiness. It builds when someone feels as if their expectations are not being met and when the unsatisfactory behavior becomes repetitive.
Resentment is the ticking time bomb:
One thing that caught my attention was this statement: “Resentment is like lava boiling underneath the surface. All could be well on the surface for a while, until something comes to jab at a sore spot and suddenly the lava comes spewing forth. That is why couples that have so much built-up resentment are so capable of seeming so loving and happy one day and then bitterly hating each other the next.”
When you fail to address serious problems in your relationships by letting them simply slide by, resentment begins to creep in. Instead of attempting to patch up the holes, we cover them up and hope they will go away. That’s not a good plan.
Unconditional love — the great fixer:
We can’t fix relational issues by ignoring them, lashing out, or keeping our concerns stifled inside. Without open and honest communication, these problems can get worse. I encourage you not to give up because it seems easier than sticking it out. Decide you are going to love unconditionally. When you do this, resentment cannot survive. It isn’t easy, and it takes perseverance and endurance.
Our relationships will never be perfect. If you don’t experience some disagreements and tough times, more than likely there really isn’t anything there. To love your spouse unconditionally there have to be some conditions that come up to test it. It’s time to stop focusing on their flaws and begin to see ours; doing this will help you forgive and let go of resentment.
Through forgiveness and understanding, you can have a healthy relationship in spite of both of your great and glaring shortcomings.
That is what makes for an amazing relationship.
Have you witnessed resentment hurt your relationship or someone you know?
